Living with autoimmune diseases and Lichen Sclerosis

Menopause they say makes you feel like you are no longer a woman. I disagree, I was glad to stop having heavy periods. I still looked and felt like a woman and the body most definetly was saying I was. However Lichen Sclerosis was to take all of that away

Today I burst into tears, I’d been crying for weeks knowing that my vagina was never going to look like it did again. I no longer felt like a complete woman. Lichen Sclerosis had taken it away from me and was never going to give it back to me. Today though I broke down in front of my supporting husband who told me it made no difference to him and he loved me regardless, it didn’t matter to him, we would find ways to Love each other by touch and not to worry.

I no longer have a clitoris, it’s been absorbed into my body by this vile disease. I have phimosis of the clitoris. Lichen Sclerosis feels like the absorber in Doctor Who, its taken my pleasure zone away from me and also my labia minora has been absorbed. Not only was it taken away by this horrible disease, its left me with pain, itchiness, feeling like my vagina has million of peaces of broken glass in it. It’s made me feel like a shell. Thanks to covid I wasn’t seen soon enough so in that time my clitoris and labia minora have gone.

I don’t know how to cope yet, I don’t know how to get back yet, but I will. I always have and this is no different, accept it took my womanhood from me.

My first point of call is to fight the depression away that this has caused me. I’ve only been off antidepressant for two years, I had been on them since I was 21, and was 55 when I stopped them. I don’t want to go back. I can’t change the way this disease has taken my body, however i will find a way to stop it taking away more.

There isn’t a great deal of help in the UK for Lichen Sclerosis, but America seems to have more info. I will collate and worl my next steps.

With the love and readsurance of my husband, I feel ready to fight this head on.